i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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