i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
