I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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