she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
