I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize