Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.