Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.