why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs