Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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