what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
