i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
50% drunk capacity currently
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
