I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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