brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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