burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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