your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize