So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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