I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
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What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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