Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
