Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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