Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The ass gains better be worth it
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