I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You're like the curious george of whores
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
