She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
