its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
