Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
