I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
