He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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