I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
