This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
