Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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