The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
