remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
