Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize