GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
