Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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