I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
