this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
