Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
