Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
