So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
