beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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