she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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