She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
