I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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