Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
