I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
