..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
