Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
