put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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