ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
