The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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