So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
