my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
