I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
