so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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