how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
