Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
