Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
