Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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