Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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