i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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