I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
